Chipped

Recently I walked into Ross(the store) and I did not intend to buy anything, I never do. Well, ‘never do’ turned into what always happens when I dare walk into Ross. There’s always something waiting for me to buy up on the shelf. My favorite section is the housewares. It’s nice to find a little something to accent your home. On this particular day, as I browsed through the store with my ever patient children....wait... if I can recall, they were actually waiting in the car for me as I returned something...I found this really pretty mug that had a matching platter and a matching desert plate. It was just in time to get ready for one of my favorite holidays, Valentines Day! It had really pretty pink roses on it with the word amour/love all over it. And as always it took me a little while to justify the buy. I really loved each piece and I felt like I couldn’t live with out it.

“What a pretty mug. After all, I really do deserve to enjoy my morning tea in a pretty little mug”, I thought.

“And the platter, I could display really pretty deserts on it”.

I stood there for a little while examining every piece. Not more than a few minutes later I found myself walking to the cash register still contemplating in my mind whether I should buy all three pieces.

“Should I, should I not, should I, should I not...the line is getting shorter...Heather, make up your mind!” and before you know it, I’m at the cashiers’ giving her the money.

“ I did it! Should have I? Oh well, If I decide that I shouldn’t have within a few days than I can take it back and get my money back.”

And as miserable as it sounds this is how 99% of my purchases happen. Terrible, but true. I don’t splurge on many things , but when I do buy anything for myself I have to go through a whole debate in my mind“do I need it, do I deserve it, should I really spend the money, how bad do I really want it??”

What torture! Yes, this is why I’d much rather stay home and find creative things to do at home. I’d rather not even step into another store, unless it’s a thrift store. Second thought, even a thrift store could be dangerous.

Well, there’s something extra ordinary about this mug that I bought on this particular unexpected shopping trip. When I picked it up off the shelf, it was completely flawless. No chips, no marks, but little did this innocent mug know that when it entered the Kanahele household there would be a risk of being chipped in the hands of a 3 year old or a 9 year old or even a 11 year old. And not only ‘chipped’, but broken.

No, my pretty mug is not broken, but it’s chipped. It’s not chipped in one place, it’s not chipped in two places....it’s chipped in three different places. How did it get chipped? Yes, you guessed....in the hands of one of my children in the middle of doing the dishes.

“I knew I should have washed it myself!” Oh, my pretty mug!

When my child who was washing the dishes at the time came to me with my chipped mug I could have screamed, I could have gotten really upset and said something like “Why do you guys break everything of mine, can’t you be careful, I can never keep ANYTHING nice in this house!” Yes, I could have done either of those things, but this time was different. There was a pause in my heart. At that moment, as I laid there on the couch nursing my babe, the Holy Spirit prompted me to take a close look at the mug. And not to only look at the mug with my physical eyes, but to look at it with the eyes of my heart. And that I did. This is when my Savior spoke to me....

“He said, Heather, even though your mug is ‘chipped’ it is still beautiful. In fact it is more beautiful than before because now...your mug has character. Now, you possess a mug like no other, one that nobody else owns.

Just then I was reminded that this is how Jesus sees me. He sees me as beautiful even though I am ‘chipped’. I have many chips in my life, I am not perfect. I get angry when my innocent child spills milk on the floor. I get irritated when I think about all the dishes or dirty laundry that I have to manage. I get tired of making dinner every night. I get selfish when my children ask me for a bite of my candy bar.

Nevertheless, chips and all, I am beautiful in God’s eyes. I am His. I am like no other. He loves me just as I am. He loves me so much that He continues to allow chips in my life. No, it’s not a mistake. The chips in my life are to bring me closer to Him. With each chip I am learning to call upon Him. I am seeking for His help and His guidance. As I my will slowly breaks, God is slowly revealing Himself in me.... in hopes that the world may see, with the eyes of their heart, a gracious and loving God. A beautiful God.

He is less concerned about our beauty or our success, whether in the home as a mother, a wife or in the work place, than He is with who we are becoming in those places. Success , by the worlds standards, never builds character, nor does it make us better people in God’s eyes. Every failure or ‘chip’ is an opportunity for growth. To be ‘successful’ or posses ‘beauty’, God only asks us to be faithful to Him and cling to a heart of obedience.

I am glad that my child was washing the dishes and chipped my mug. It brought me one step closer to being completely broken before my Savior. I look forward to many more unexpected shopping trips.:o)

For You do not desire sacrifice, or else I would give it;

You do not delight in burnt offering.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit,

A broken and contrite heart.

These, O God, You will not despise.

Psalm 51:16-17